Ben is definitely in that stage where some days I think I should call the doctor because there's something wrong with him, and then I realize that he is a boy and he is two. The following happened a few weeks ago, and Jerry wrote it down. I had to post it because it decribes life with our little guy at this stage right now.
Came home at 5:30pm and for the next hour here is a narrative of life with Ben (2 ½ and on antibiotics for strep throat)
Ben greets me with a big bear hug.
Go upstairs to play with his sisters. Has a complete freak-out and learns the word stupid from his older sister… and while screaming “stupid, stupid, stupid” he takes his sister’s Christmas snow globe and throws it harder than a major league pitcher. Narrowly misses his sister and smashes against the wall. Destroyed.
Big daddy “settles” the situation.
We go downstairs to play with his sisters. Play hide’n seek. I go upstairs to check on dinner status. Hear screeching. Go downstairs, fast, based on decibel level. Ben has bit his other sister and broken skin… apparently he was teaching her a lesson too.
Big daddy “settles” the situation and performs first aid.
Its now been 20 minutes. Time for dinner!
Ben has taken a small plate of beef stroganoff and spread it evenly over his chair and table before I can count to 10 (which is what I need to do at this point to avoid a throw-down) Our black table now looks like a frat house floor after 3 consecutive keggers. Ben takes his Mater Truck (from the movie Cars) and winds it up on the table where it proceeds to take off. First in its path is his sister’s plate of beef stroganoff. With a 1 ½ foot long streak of noodles and beef in its trail, the car continues down its destructive path taking out Erin's tall glass of milk. The car with all the preceding contents in tow flies off the table, hits a wall and magically ends up back at Ben’s feet back on the other side of the table.
I now hang my head in a shameless act of defeat.
Disciplinarian #2 in the org chart of the family household steps in to bring order. That goes real well. Ben takes above mentioned car toy, and in a move like the first incident upstairs throws the car like a b-ball pro and takes a chunk out of the drywall.
Now Ben reaches across the table to point out the Bible story he wants to read. In doing so he does a chest plant on the peanut butter toast he has as replacement for the dinner he has destroyed. Now my lovely little buddy is caked in peanut butter.
The little $*(#_) wraps up the 1 hour event with a “I wuv you daddy” and a smile that makes hearts melt ... I love that kid!
Ben greets me with a big bear hug.
Go upstairs to play with his sisters. Has a complete freak-out and learns the word stupid from his older sister… and while screaming “stupid, stupid, stupid” he takes his sister’s Christmas snow globe and throws it harder than a major league pitcher. Narrowly misses his sister and smashes against the wall. Destroyed.
Big daddy “settles” the situation.
We go downstairs to play with his sisters. Play hide’n seek. I go upstairs to check on dinner status. Hear screeching. Go downstairs, fast, based on decibel level. Ben has bit his other sister and broken skin… apparently he was teaching her a lesson too.
Big daddy “settles” the situation and performs first aid.
Its now been 20 minutes. Time for dinner!
Ben has taken a small plate of beef stroganoff and spread it evenly over his chair and table before I can count to 10 (which is what I need to do at this point to avoid a throw-down) Our black table now looks like a frat house floor after 3 consecutive keggers. Ben takes his Mater Truck (from the movie Cars) and winds it up on the table where it proceeds to take off. First in its path is his sister’s plate of beef stroganoff. With a 1 ½ foot long streak of noodles and beef in its trail, the car continues down its destructive path taking out Erin's tall glass of milk. The car with all the preceding contents in tow flies off the table, hits a wall and magically ends up back at Ben’s feet back on the other side of the table.
I now hang my head in a shameless act of defeat.
Disciplinarian #2 in the org chart of the family household steps in to bring order. That goes real well. Ben takes above mentioned car toy, and in a move like the first incident upstairs throws the car like a b-ball pro and takes a chunk out of the drywall.
Now Ben reaches across the table to point out the Bible story he wants to read. In doing so he does a chest plant on the peanut butter toast he has as replacement for the dinner he has destroyed. Now my lovely little buddy is caked in peanut butter.
The little $*(#_) wraps up the 1 hour event with a “I wuv you daddy” and a smile that makes hearts melt ... I love that kid!
2 comments:
Very funny. I think Kyle and Ben are secretly brothers. I am hoping that Kyle will get better once he turns 4. I think it's like a sickness they have to build up an immunity to. :)
Jen
I'm so glad to hear that there are other kids out there like mine...(although exhibiting the "twos" in different ways)
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